They always say California is for dreamers, but I am starting to believe it is not truly dreaming we are doing. Instead, I think we may be wishing, hoping, for our lives to be the way people perceive it to be on TV. Expectations are getting the better of us, and all they do is bring us down. We begin to isolate, withdraw, sometimes even attack. Feeling like the life we should be living is always watching our back. Everything we do to try and achieve it seems like it takes us farther from the goal, to the point where we think maybe what we want isn’t something we actually know. With failure and defeat, we pick ourselves up. Start again, anew, an endless cycle of being in a rut. Dreaming, believing, hoping, and wishing maybe one day we will finally get far enough.
You try so hard to grasp control of the situation. You look for other alternatives, maybe you can get yourself out of this before you truly enter it. They always say these kind of things are avoidable, right? But there comes a point where you realize you’re screwed, and that even with all the time you had to prepare, you cannot change the inevitable fate coming your way. You’re going to crash. Before you have time to freak it, it has already happened. There you are, sitting in broken glass, left to pick up the pieces. The damage is done, and all you are left with are “what ifs”.